Sunday, July 24, 2011

Hitting a Self-Destruct Button.

Writing this piece of shit during one of those times when I give a damn to everything happening around me, one of those times when everything stands tall against you, one of those times when you try to break down the barriers but you are the one to crumble each time, one of those times when you want to abolish all your sins and rest in peace, one of those times when you think you are wasting your time here and no good is happening, one of those times when you think you have lost the race against time and the people around you, one of those times when you can only think about lamenting in different manners, maybe by swearing or maybe by crossing other limitations and give a beat to someone, maybe by breaking down the things or maybe even a suicidal attempt.

This materialistic world is such a bad place, be it anything the world won’t allow you to comeback. Everyone in the world has his/her own ways of taking the life as shit in different manners. I have my own ways, I take it in my own way. I am a loser of my own kind, why do I think that so ? I don’t know either. Why does my frame of mind behaves in such a way ? I don’t know either. So many state of events have happened that I regret about those and thus I like to be eccentric. I would prefer having a time alone rather than with a bunch of people, why do I like to be in my own shell ? , I don’t know either.

My betrayal happy face is a wrong face you get to see every morning, inside deep I am severely hurt. Now there are things you would like to know what are those events which have left a deep scar, but sorry I won’t. If I let you know then my life would be even more meaningless, so allow me to live peacefully and live harmoniously. I want to be a billionaire, NO and yes if you think that I have been double crossed by my girlfriend then you certainly got it wrong again. I am already broke and I don’t have time for my own self, leave alone the girl. If you really want to know then it’s you who is responsible, you are so dumb that you are still reading another dumb-man's article.

By now I am dead sure you must be thinking that I need a psychological treatment which might allow me to come out of the deadlock, but sorry and leave me like this. I prefer living a life full of hatred. Life’s so hard already, people say faith is the ability to not panic, if you worry then you didn’t pray, if you pray then you don’t need to worry. It goes other way for me, I have the faith in everything the life after death and the life before death. Life would end in few days maybe before I hit the next key or maybe when I would be holding a stick.

Everything seems so nonsensical about me but this is the way I am. It’s just that I love to be in pain, I don’t know why I love to bring so much trouble to myself, what’s up with the need to hit the self-destruct button ?. Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? because if feels so good when I stop.

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